Big, Audacious Decisions
Hello, dear friends. I promised myself when I started All the Delights that I’d never write a post to apologize for my silence, because I never planned on becoming silent. It’s the downfall of a diligent and stubborn planner.
But failure is a companion of mine, one I’m learning to embrace with gusto. And so rather than wallow at my inabilities to keep every plate spinning when life marches in as it does, I’m happy to pick up where we left off.
I wrote my last post two days before the final day of my job. In a moment of clarity and yes, gumption, I put in my two weeks near the end of October. It was an insane move but for better or for worse, I thrive on insane moves. I like change. Big, audacious decisions are the theme of my life. And sometimes, quitting your job is just that.
Especially if you’re a planner without a plan.
But by the wild grace of God, I have yet to go a day unemployed.
A few days before I quit, I saw a woman pushing a baby carriage and an unexpected desire welled up inside me. Not what you’re thinking. Before I moved to Austin two and a half years ago for this job, I was working as a nanny in Brooklyn. I loved those kids so much that we asked them to be in our wedding, but I hadn’t considered working with children again - until that moment.
I love being with kids because they remind me of who I am. Silly, goofy, imaginative, a dreamer, and free. Totally free.
I thought that perhaps I could entertain that girl again while exploring the big, bold world of freelance. I want to write. I want to own a business. I want to create. It’s time I started.
The Monday after my job ended, I found myself sitting with a newborn baby, completely at peace. I had more jobs lined up for the week. And the week after.
I decided to take a break from social media for seven days. Social media was part of my job, so I hadn’t had the luxury of checking out in over two years. Honestly, I just wanted to allow my brain to wander beyond where it was used to going. I wanted to let myself get bored and see what happened. The constant need to fill the space was draining me, and so I deleted all the apps. I opened my journal. I unrolled my yoga mat. I stopped wondering what everyone else was doing...thinking...and too often, shouting.
Now I’m back! Miraculously, I’m working on building two websites, designing one brand, bringing on social media clients, and dreaming up new goals for my own writing and creative efforts. None of these things were lined up before I quit my job. I have no idea where my foot will land next, but I know that it will land. I believe that it will.
I’m excited to see how All the Delights grows, now that I have the brain capacity and energy to let it thrive! This little space is a part of a much bigger dream. I have lists and lists of ideas, some silly, some audacious. But that's just me.
And so let’s get on with it, shall we?