In the Depths of the Internet, I Found Myself

 My Mary Tyler Moore moment, 2009

My Mary Tyler Moore moment, 2009

There is a lot of chatter on the internet about the Good Old Days of blogging and remembering what life was like before anyone saw the need for superior photography skills or tried to gain followers for (eventual) profit or actually wrote posts on a whim, just for fun.

I'll admit, I've kept a blogging calendar at times. I've studied my analytics and taken great care of what I write and when. No harm in that. I'm proud of ATD's small platform and thankful for a way to express my creativity without any outside influences. And while I do think that the focus of ATD has shifted here and there, it has always happened organically and never too sudden. No harm in that, either. Growth often comes with change.

 Central Park, 2008

Central Park, 2008

A few days ago I had a sudden urge to try to hack into my old email address. My very first one, under the screen name princess_leigha_1814, back when concealing your identity was crucial. I've yet to sort out the aggravating puzzle that is my password, but I did find a few traces of my early internet presence: A transcript of a Yahoo chat from 1999 with Hanson, in which they chose to answer my question ("what is your favorite Star Wars character???"), a "Meet the Reader" feature from 2009 on USA Today, and finally, the first blog I ever created (besides Xanga), called brittany, brooklyn

The first post is dated September 10, 2006. 

 Eating my way through New York, 2009

Eating my way through New York, 2009

If you want the truth, I'd forgotten all about it. It was like finding an old diary: embarrassing, engrossing, and fascinating all at once. I got lost in its pages, remembering some of my most, uh, "enlightened" moments as the new New York girl on the block. 

I wrote about the first time I ever used video chat (I called it "neat"), the night I chopped off my own hair in a shared hostel bathroom, how expensive John Mayer CD's were at Borders, one particularly interesting blog post called "Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun duuun!" and a chronicle of my first-ever binge-watching experience (Felicity in 2007, also the year in which I first used the word, "meme").

I even devoted an entire post to the time an online lookalike machine compared me to basketball player, Dirk Nowitski. 

 Brooklyn Bridge, 2006

Brooklyn Bridge, 2006

Mostly, I just wrote what I wanted, when I wanted. I didn't care who was reading and I spoke like the reader already knew me and all of my friends. I know you're dying for a peek at some highlights, and I'm really happy to provide them for you.

 My side of my first "room" in New York, 2006

My side of my first "room" in New York, 2006

Smooth moves, Britt:

Friday, April 25, 2008:
Today I walked from the subway...through Little Korea...to work...with my skirt tucked in my underwear.

(And by the way? This singular post on a blog that got roughly 7 page views a week received 5 comments.)

At least I got eggs!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I overdrew my account. Seriously! I didn't have enough cash on me to pay for a prescription. Mom said dad would put the money in Friday and they would pay for it. That became Sunday, Monday. Well, I had to buy it Monday, so I thought I'd have money by then. I overdrew $10. I forgot to turn in my timesheet last week, so I didn't get paid Monday. It'll just double up next week, which will be nice. I won't be eating out all week. That is strange, but I got a dozen eggs I need to eat, so it works out. College in New York City is just what you think it is.

Oh, the minutia of a broke 21-year-old in NYC!

 Little Italy, 2006

Little Italy, 2006

Felt it was important to share at the time:

Sunday, September 17, 2006
Wow. I just got an intense craving for cheddar bay biscuits from Red Lobster. I don't know what to do about this; there is, in fact, nothing I can do. Man.

"Man."

Unique, New York:

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Today I walked to Union Square on my lunch break. There was a man sitting outside of the 5-story Barnes & Noble affectionately playing with his white rat.

 Brooklyn Bridge, 2006

Brooklyn Bridge, 2006


If you're wondering where I'm heading with this, the answer is that I'm not quite sure. I just feel the need to break the mold a little bit and to remember that keeping a blog should not cause stress (or guilt, jeez). It's also refreshing to find that writing, keeping a record, sharing stories...has always been a part of me. 

I heard something recently that I can't seem to shake. It was from Liz Gilbert's Magic Lessons podcast and she said that perhaps some of our creative projects are not the final destination; perhaps they are just the runway. 

Every journal, diary, and blog I've kept has been a runway to ATD. And now...I'm beginning to wonder if ATD is a runway, as well. I know we all want to arrive somewhere, but the thought that I'm just getting started is again invigorating, suddenly not daunting. 

I hope you'll forgive me for going off the rails a bit. No glitzy, bloggy photos (how will I ever share this on Instagram!!), no helpful lists, no name brand name drops.

Just me, buckling in for the next big creative adventure...whatever that may be.

xoxo,

brittany, california