Family Day in Calabasas
Old Town Calabasas
We rarely have a Saturday where Matty isn't working. So when we found ourselves with a wide-open weekend this month, it felt like Christmas morning! I remembered this cute cafe in Old Town Calabasas I'd been to over a year ago after seeing it in the J.B. Smoove episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (tha best show), so we decided to start. There was a little farm nearby, and a park to hike that looked pretty in Yelp photos. I've always been a researcher, but now that we have a kid, even more so. No time can go to waste! However, no amount of research could have prepared me for a day on the town that apparently is most famous for it's Kardashian residents.
Looking back, I know that it was one of Those Days. The Good Ole ones. Even more so due to the week...weeks...that followed. A non-stop barrage of this and that. A teething son, a dirty apartment, opposite work schedules, and very little room to come up for air. Let's just say, it's a good thing we had some space to breathe that Saturday.
On Wednesday, Avery had a doctor's appointment in a building named after Stephen Spielberg. The life of a child born in Beverly Hills, I suppose. Because he was a NICU baby, he spent some time with a doc and an occupational therapist to see how he's developing. Avery is such a smart kid that up until 10 pm the night before, I considered cancelling. Matty was due to be on set all day and I needed to catch up on work, but I decided to keep it – just in case. My angel friend, Maggie, came with us last minute for a set of helping hands — and some emotional support for me. He's doing well, but it wasn't the shiny progress report I expected. There was a lot of information and a few things Matty and I can do to help him along. Immediate guilt set it because I'm both a stay-at-home mom and one who works from home. Am I doing enough for him? Can we do better?
Maggie helped me gain clarity on the situation. The doctor even told me that I'm a great mom and gave me a hug. I'm actually so thankful that we have the opportunity for Avery to be analyzed as an individual, with professionals at one of the nation's best hospitals guiding us along the way. Really, how great is that?
But, man. Ugh.
One thing: the doctor convinced me it was time to sleep train. To really do it. And I'm so proud to say that we are two nights in and he is doing SO great! Waking up only once and going back to sleep on his own. Why didn't we do this earlier.
If anything, I know that we need more Saturdays like this one. More space to breath, to learn, to explore. What a privilege it is to try, to share, to fail, and to grow together in this life.
A short 20-minute drive on a Saturday morning, we were surprised to find that it was farmers market day. MY MOST FAVORITE DAY. We've been to a few around our area, but this one blew them all out of the water. Fresh produce, flowers, meats, cheeses, handmade goods — all made better with coffee in hand and 70 degree weather.
The Leonis Adobe is a working farm, just across the street from the cafe and farmers market. We paid a suggested donation and showed Avery the animals (some real, some not – ha!), while Matty and I explored the old home and museum on the grounds.
Malibu Creek State Park
I had no idea what awaited us for the second part of the day. We planned a 5-mile hike, pending Avery's patience. Fun fact: the hike ended at the site where M.A.S.H. was filmed! And no, we didn't make it that far, but 4 miles with a 7.5-month-old kid who missed nap time was good enough for us. Especially since it looked like we entered Jurassic Park...you guys. It was gorgeous.
Does anything prepare you be a good mom? I was raised by parents who loved me. I nannied kids. I'm generally liked by children, I think. But really, we're all just winging it.
There is a lot of mom-talk on social media, these days. A lot of realness. A lot of "we work really hard so we need to give ourselves grace." And that, I do. But y'all. I want to be the best for him which means I need to understand where grace applies, and where the work kicks in.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: grace for me should never be at the expense of him.